how to write a kick-ass essay

so i have procrastinated doing my science paper (which is due in two days) until now and so far the only thing i have is a thesis satement.  so if you are anything like me, waiting to do homework until the last minuete like me i've compiled a list of things that helped me during the 2 days i worked on my essay in hope that they might help souls like you.

how to write a kick-ass essay

tip number 1: have an amazing thesis statement, so basiclly a thesis statement is just mushing all of your main points into one sentence it should be a sentence that someone can argue with not a fact.

tip number 2: start with your first body paragraph not the introduction, i mean how are you supposed to write an introduction for a paper you have'nt written yet?  do the body paragraphs and the conclusion and then come back and write your introduction, much easier :)

tip number 3: now for having a great body paragraph so you can write whatever the hell you want (well anything pertaning to your subject) it's your paper just tell it like you mean it, don't hold back

ok so those are my tips for writing a great essay im sure there are tons more out there but i didn't want to write like all of them so i hope these helped you to write some sort of essay.  and when you are done with you essay wipe those tears off your face and make yourself a milkshake because you're done

bathing in a puddle of my own tears

sincerley,
the anon

this is why im dying

hello! today was absolutly horrid.  at 3:00 after the school bell rang symbolizing the end of school, childrens screams and laughter could be heard all throughout the hallway but a select few did not share that happiness of going home to watch tv and pig out.  fourty-five minuets after the bell rang all 4 of us were suited up unprepared for the tourture that laid before us.

after brief instructions we procceded to the back of the school.  for an hour and 30 minuets we endured one of the most horrific things that was ever created.  since the dawn of time our ancestors have done this, embracced it and loved it.  the 4 girls standing on the wet muddy grass today were no such people.  this ill-fated tourture device was none other than...

track and field

sooooo as you can tell track and field season has started yay! hahahaha no. i absolutly hate track and field i like swimming i like eating but i hate track and field.  i wasn't even planning on doing it this year until i made a deal with the devil (informally known to me as mom)

it was one fateful afternoon during a swimmeet i had already swum all my events and like the loser i was, i was talking to my mom, except it was about going to a sleepover with my friend.  now her first deal was "if you go to the cotilion then you can sleepover" now first of all no.  the cotilion is awful you have to ask a boy and then they teach you how to dance, first i suck at dancing and then who was i going to ask? its not like i have hoards of boys roaming around my house 24/7

but oh wait... my mom got another idea she told me to ask my brother's friends and i was like no mom, that would be supper awkward.  then she got another great idea "if you do track then you can sleepover" and like the stupid fool i am i agreed the only good part of this situation is my best friend has to suffer with me :-)  im an evil one.

so last monday was the first day of track and we did suicides oh joy :-)  but i now have proof that miracles really do happen the rest of the week was canceled due to snow and today we finally got back after the snow and we did more suicides which by the end of it made me want to kill myself.  and then we worked on longjump and i got sand everywhere i was like i was at a beach.

so the only good part about today is after all those calories i burned in track i got to go home and gorge myself on bread and stuff.

forever eating crutons

sincerley

the anon

single and not ready to mingle

well tomorrow marks yet another valentines day that i'm going to spend watching the notebook with my cat... well except that i've never seen the notebook and my cat can't sit still unless he's napping.  however for the first time in forever (see that frozen refrence right there?) i'm actually going to spend valentines day with my single friends yay! we are going to eat lots of food and watch the notebook.

now for the not ready to mingle part of this blog post, so as many people know i am an awkward person who cannot talk to the male species.  the only males i can talk to are family members and like 3 of my brother's friends who i've known since preschool.

so my cousin who is 16 gave me some tips on how to talk to boys maybe this can give you some tips also so without further ado,

tip 1: keep the conversation going, so my cousin told me to always keep the conversation going, don't let it drift off into a awkward silence but at the same time don't try and talk his ear off let him get in a couple sentences.

tip 2: so as most of us know lots of boys love to talk about themselves so get him to talk about himself.  ask him some questions about himself such as "what sports do you play" ask open ended questions instead of asking questions that end in a yes or no.

tip 3: so if you are seriously still reading this you should ask your self this question.  "why are you taking advice on boys from a socially awkward girl and her cousin?" well to be honest i have no idea if these even work because i have never used them...  so if you have trouble talking to boys i cannot help you sorry...

sincerely,
the anon